My Own Bible



I stole this idea from my friend EJ, who borrowed it from Ralph Waldo Emerson.

"Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love the notion of organizing in one place those words that speak truth to me, that I turn to again and again. This is just a beginning for me, and I will be adding to it as I find new words that inspire. 

Heart

"Man has places in his heart which do not yet exist, and into them enters suffering, in order that they may have existence." 
Leon Bloy

"Engrave this upon your heart: there isn't anyone you couldn't love once you heard their story." 
Mary Lou Kownacki

"If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough." 
Meister Eckhart 

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things."
Mary Oliver


"What goes on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love; you must somehow keep working at it and not lose too much time and too much courage in clarifying your attitude toward people."
Rainer Maria Rilke

"The wound is the place where the light enters you."
Rumi

Mind

"Little breath, breathe me gently, row me gently,
For I am a river I am trying to cross." 
W.S. Merwin

"What you seek is seeking you." 
Rumi

"The time will come 
when, with elation 
you will greet yourself arriving 
at your own door, in your own mirror 
and each will smile at the other's welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored 
for another, who knows you by heart. 
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror. 
Sit. Feast on your life." 

Derek Walcott


Hands

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."
Luke 6:31

"Wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking." 
Spanish poem

"Write like a motherfucker." 
Cheryl Strayed


"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave."
Rainer Maria Rilke

"You do it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing."
Amy Poehler
What words would be in your own bible? Share the quotes that are like the blast of a trumpet to you in the comments. 


p.s. I know that Mary Oliver poem by heart because I see it every day. 

Goals and Balance



Yesterday when I got up to do my morning writing, I opened Gmail and sent some long overdue emails to several friends. It was a complete and total breaking of the rules. That quiet hour is sacred - no email, no twitter, no facebook. Just get out of bed and put words (blog words, fiction words, essay words - not email words) on the page (or screen).

I set certain creative goals for myself - I am meeting them, and this is the path. Determination and commitment, sacrifice, early mornings, and following the rules.

There is this image of the crazed writer - romantic and laudable - slaving away at his (always a him) typewriter in the rented room in the attic (always an attic) to finish the manuscript or the play or the essay that will seal his fate as one of the greats. He will forego sleep, food, comfort, haircuts, company, everything just to get those words on paper. That image calls to me with a sweet, syrupy voice. It promises fame and fortune and, most importantly, a singularity of purpose that avoids all of life's confusion and messiness. If only I could be as strong as that writer, it could all be mine.

But I am weak.

Thank the sweet lord. I am weak.

I need sleep and food and the company of good friends. I forget sometimes. I follow the voice a little too far down the path, and I start to see a frenzied look in the eyes in the mirror, a sure sign of commitment to the image, to the rules, instead of commitment to the creativity.

Yesterday I woke up early. I opened my computer, and I wrote to my friends instead.



p.s. A friend told me once that the Universe gives us the same lesson over and over again until we learn it. This is clearly part of my curriculum. 

Rekindle That Spark



Perhaps it's been a while since you and your wife/husband/partner/spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend got together, and maybe things are a little...stale.



You love them dearly, of course. But maybe all the time you spend scheduling repair men and taking the animals to the vet (and chauffeuring the kids and fighting about chores and hosting visitors and cleaning the house and and and and...) has you out of the habit of noticing each other.



Maybe you haven't really stopped in weeks, or even months, to notice how easily the conversation flows between you, how relaxed your body is next to theirs, how often they make you laugh.



Maybe it's been a while since you really noticed what a beautiful smile they have. Or what a beautiful smile you have when they're in the room.


I have a simple solution for you. It sounds silly, but I promise you, it's not.



Make a photo book.

If you haven't made a book of photos from your wedding, congratulations.  You have prime rekindling fodder.



If you're already set with wedding photos or you aren't married, make a book from your vacation or your birthday party or a mini-book from that perfect date you shared a couple months ago.



This is key: Sit down next to each other, and look through the photos on your computer. You know the ones - the ones you took (or your photographer took) and that have since been waiting, invisible in a folder on your desktop.



Choose a photo book vendor (Adoramapix, perhaps), and spend the next few hours reliving that happy occasion while you drag and drop smiling photos that will remind you both - every time you look down at those pages on your coffee table - of how insanely lucky you are. Tell each other stories about the event that you already know but love to hear again.



When your package arrives in the mail, rip it open together and turn the pages of your book with a mixture of glee and gratitude.

Then wrap your arms around your wife/husband/partner/spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend and don't let go.



p.s. You can read all about our wedding here

Easy Chocolate Bark: 5 Flavors



Peppermint chocolate bark was one of my favorite holiday treats growing up. It still is - the perfect thing to make when you want to have something delicious that feels like the holidays but you don't have much time. It's one of those easy desserts that looks a little fancy. The whole production takes less than ten minutes.

More recently, I've discovered the joy of chocolate bark all year round. If it's possible to be easier than my childhood holiday bark with peppermint and white chocolate (melt chocolate, mix with peppermint, spread in pan), it is (melt chocolate, spread in pan, sprinkle with goodies).  If you have the right ingredients at home, you can make it in the 8 minutes before guests arrive once you remember that you forgot to pick up something sweet to finish off the meal. Or in the few minutes before bed on a Sunday night so you'll have a treat throughout the week.

The "right" ingredients are some chocolate and whatever fun goodies you can find to throw on top. You might have everything you need in your pantry right now.

I've started you off with five options for easy chocolate bark here, but the possibilities are endless.


Peppermint chocolate bark
chocolate + crushed peppermint candies

Pretzel chocolate bark
chocolate + pretzels

Fruit and nut chocolate bark
chocolate + diced apricots, raisins, and sliced almonds

Lavender chocolate bark
chocolate + dried lavender

Berry chocolate bark 
chocolate + warmed berry jam, drizzled on top and swirled with a toothpick


You could use the chocolate bark that comes in big chunks, but I like to be decadent and use chocolate chips. We're partial to Sunspire grain sweetened dark chocolate chips. They have the perfect rich flavor that I'm looking for from dark chocolate, and they help us reduce our refined sugar intake while we're shoving delicious goodies into our mouths. It's a win win.

If I haven't made it clear yet, the method for this is simple. I'm not even going to call it a recipe.

Here are the steps:

Chocolate Bark

1. In a microwave-safe bowl, microwave 2 cups chocolate chips at 15-30 second intervals, stirring in between, until melted. (You could also use a double-boiler on the stove, but I go the quickest route)
2. While it's melting, lightly grease a cookie sheet and then place a piece of parchment paper onto the cookie sheet to cover it.
3. Pour the melted chocolate onto the cookie sheet, and spread it into a thin layer.
4. Sprinkle goodies on top.
5. Place in refrigerator for about an hour. Break up the pieces once hard.
6. Store chocolate bark in a sealed container in the refrigerator.

Other yummies to sprinkle on top:
cinnamon and chili powder
dried cherries and cranberries
sea salt and swirls of caramel
pistachios and pomegranate
marshmallows and peanuts

You can really go wild with the options. Think of your favorite ice cream flavor, and then throw on toppings that would be in that ice cream. Deconstruct your favorite candy bar - what makes it delicious? Put those things on top of your chocolate bark.

And while you think about that, I'll be over here trying to keep from cleaning out the whole stash before breakfast.



p.s. This post on candy-coated pretzel sticks proves I have a distinct chocolate candy making style: easy. 

Become a Better Person: Weekend Links



Here's your quick and dirty weekend reading list from around the web, guaranteed to make you a better human being.*

This weekend I'm granting you (and me) permission to be flawed and broken and wildly imperfect. You can read these awesome articles if you get tired of being so damn human.

Become...

A more creative person: Spoiler alert - Do You. Well, figure you out. And then do you.

A happier person (in the dating world): Some rules are made to be broken, but some might help you survive the single life.

A happier person (in any world): Start searching the #pygmygoats and #dwarfgoats hashtags on Instagram. Hours of delight (and procrastination).

An awe-filled person: Let yourself be amazed and touched and tickled by watching these little bald eagle babies do their thing (mostly sitting and looking around and eating).

A softer person: Blur the lines. Don't try to put grief in a box. It's won't be put.

A more informed person: The words we use matter.



*As I've said before, simply reading these articles probably won't make you a better person. But they're interesting, and anyway, I recommend seriously considering whether you're perfect already - just the way you are.

The Montreal Butterfly Exhibit

Oh, did you think we were done with Montreal?

Absolutely not. Not before the butterflies. 



What more is there to say? Everyone should spend an hour in a room filled with butterflies. It is a balm for what ails you, a reminder that beauty and fragility are often inextricably intertwined. Notice all the wings with torn edges, and yet they still fly. 


p.s. We have some pretty lovely butterflies here in Vermont too. 

The Montreal Botanical Garden (or Why I Take Photos)



I guess sometimes being a person who takes lots of photographs - or being around a person who takes lots of photographs (sorry, Navah) - can get annoying. I've heard people say things like, "Put down your camera. Enjoy the moment." And for a while, I took that in. I had this kind of itching concern every time I lifted my lens that perhaps I was getting Enjoying The Moment wrong.

It didn't keep me from taking pictures because there was some deeper, louder voice shoving my camera into my hand and telling me to shoot, woman, shoot. So I did. 

But there was this quibbling little thought in the back of my head that somehow I was messing it (enjoyment) up. 

And then recently I came across the hashtag #elevatetheeveryday, and I started using it in my instagram posts. And when I was out on my walks with the dog, often cold and cranky and tired, I started carrying my cell phone in my hand, keeping the camera app at the ready, and looking around as I walked to see if there was something beautiful I could capture. 

And almost every time, there was. The way the light was coming through the trees, the way my shadow fell on the ground, the way a particular leaf looked against the snow. There was always something beautiful or meaningful or worth seeing. And I realized that by engaging in that practice, I was enjoying my walks in a way I never had. 

Perhaps there are people who can just say to themselves, I am going to find beauty in this moment. And they do. But that doesn't always work for me. I can be stubborn in my crankiness.

My camera helps me to slow down, look around, and notice. My camera pulls me out of myself and into the world. My camera is a conduit through which I find beauty, through which I enjoy the moment. And it's not about being a brilliant photographer, thank goodness. It's about taking the time to honor the "everyday" beauty right in front of me. It is, I suppose, another way to practice gratitude.

So this weekend at the Montreal Botanical Gardens, I clicked away, and I didn't apologize for it. Not to anyone else (though no one was asking me to), but most importantly, not to myself. There was nothing to apologize for. I wasn't getting it wrong. 

For me, being in a beautiful place with my camera in my hand is getting it exactly right. 


p.s. As hard as it is to believe, Spring - aka beautiful flowers right here - is truly not that far away...

Overnight in Montreal





 Before this past weekend, the weather had been pretty crummy here in Vermont, and Navah and I were seriously in need of a vacation. So we headed to...Montreal. Not the obvious choice for a mid-winter getaway, but a trip to the beach wasn't in the cards. And, as shocking as it continues to be to me, Montreal is just an hour and a half away from Burlington. That means it's a perfect candidate for a quick overnight trip to see some attractions, eat some delicious food, and not check your phone for a couple days (that was a surprise - we both forgot that we wouldn't have data service while in Canada - made for some interesting navigating and a lot of high fives for not ending up completely and totally lost forever). 


The reason it really did make sense to go farther north to get away from the cold was Montreal's Botanical Gardens. We'd been wanting to visit for a while, and the need for a getaway combined with the promise of hot, humid rooms filled with gorgeous blooms and delicate butterflies put us over the edge. And what a good call. We took off our coats and spent three hours relishing the exquisite beauty. 



We also took advantage of being in the big city to visit Chinatown and get our fill of hot and sour soup, spring rolls, and deep fried saucy meat at Amigo. Oh, and let's not forget the South Indian restaurant where we crammed ourselves full of idli, uttapam, and masala dosas. And of course the numerous Tim Hortons donuts I consumed on the way there and the way back. 



This is how I feel when I see a Tim Hortons sign on the road. 



(not from Montreal)

What is it about Tim Hortons? I hate to talk smack about our US donuts, but they just do donuts right up there. For one thing, I don't know what this says about Canadians, but no matter what time you go, they are chock full of donuts. They don't run out of things as the day ends. They're like, no more maple boston creams and it's 4:00 in the afternoon? MAKE SOME MORE. 

Ahem. 

We stayed in Old Montreal, which we've visited once before, at a fancy hotel (yay for Sunday night deals) that was filled with original art. Most of it wasn't really my style, but it was really fun to walk down and halls and look at all the pieces. We spent a few hours wandering the quiet streets on Monday morning, stopping into a shop here or there and doing a little maple syrup tasting. And to top things off, we visited Target since we don't have one here in Vermont.

When we got back into the car to head home, it felt like 36 hours very well spent. Plus we've added a ton more to our list of Things To Do in Montreal and will definitely be planning some more day trips this summer. 

Let's be honest - the primary purpose will be more dosas and donuts. We'll see some pretty stuff if we have time.


p.s. I'm making a version of this simple cabbage salad at least once a week right now. Healthy, filling, and it keeps in the fridge way better than a traditional salad. 

How to Consign Your Clothes

 

I love consignment shops - clothes, furniture, any random old thing. You know that saying - one man's trash is another man's treasure? I've always been the other man. The one grabbing up other people's tossed away things with glee - thrilled to walk away with something awesome for a song. I'm the one who, when someone compliments me on a new skirt, says proudly, and I got it for THREE DOLLARS! 

But for a long time, I never consigned anything myself - perhaps because it seemed like a lot of hassle. And also because I keep all of my clothing forever in the (usually incorrect) belief that I will wear those acid washed jeans again. Just kidding. I don't have acid washed jeans in my closet. But you get my point.

And then one day, it hit me. If I consigned my own clothes, I would make money. Money that I could use to buy more clothes at consignment shops. It was a revelation.

Nowadays, I love going into my local consignment shop to see how much "free money" I have in my account. And I've learned a few things about how to get the most value out of the process. 

* * * 

1. Follow the rules.

Consignment shops work in a variety of different ways, and it's imperative that you do a little research beforehand so you don't end up wasting your time. At most shops, you'll drop off a bag of clothes, and the staff will go through it, deciding what they'll keep or return back to you. Then if they sell the items they kept, you will receive a percentage of the sale price. But each shop does things a little differently. For some, you need to make an appointment before they'll look at your clothes. Others require no appointment, but they'll only accept one bag of clothes per visit. Still others follow a different model entirely and pay you on the spot for the clothes they think they'll be able to sell, returning all the rest to you. It can be pretty disappointing to show up with a bag of clothes and realize that you can't get anyone to look at them.

Pro Tip: Use a big bag at those shops that only allow one bag of clothes per trip. 

2. Know your audience

Fun story: there's a consignment shop near us that caters to the younger crowd - college kids mostly. At least, that's their goal. I know a lot of women my age (early-thirties) who go there for inexpensive clothes that span the age gap. So I show up there the first time with a bag of clothes, and the 20-something behind the counter squints at me and says, "you know this is a store for youth consignment, right?" I probably shouldn't have been as offended as I was, but it felt like she looked me up and down and then said, "you know you're really old and frumpy, right?" They took two items from the bags I brought, and I left feeling decidedly un-stylish. 

But I got over it. Now when I go, I'm careful about the clothes I put in the bag. I stick with pieces that have universal age-appeal. They don't always take much, and it varies greatly depending on who is working. But they're one of the shops that pays right away, so I always walk out with a little cash in my pocket (if I don't spend it there immediately on midriff-baring tops and short shorts).

Some consignment shops - our local Second Time Around is one example - put lists online of the types of brands they accept. If the shop has a list of brands that includes mostly designer names, they probably won't take your Target-brand jeans. But the lists aren't always 100% accurate - if you have something really cute that you think would sell well there, throw it in. The key is to be aware of what types of clothes they're looking for so you're not disappointed about what they do or don't take.

Pro Tip: Put your nicest clothes at the top of the bag so the staff see those first.

3. Do the legwork

If you bring a bag of 25 clothing items into a consignment shop, you'll probably end up walking out with a bag that still has 15 or 20 pieces. Every consignment shop has a little bit different set of standards, and each employee will make slightly different choices. But there are probably more than a few consignment shops near you. Try out two or three, and maybe you'll end up getting half of your clothing items into a shop. The key here is to accept that, as much as you loved a particular piece, not everyone will see it as a piece they can sell. And they may return your bag and say something like, "None of the other pieces were on trend." That's okay. Move on to the next place. 

Pro Tip: Start with the fanciest shop first, and then move on with the "leftovers" to other shops. 

4. Prep the clothes. 

No one is going to take a shirt that has deodorant stains on it or a pair of pants that look like they've been sitting in a wrinkled pile for the last year. Even though it might feel annoying, wash the clothes and fold them nicely. They don't all need to be perfectly pressed, but the clothes should look presentable.

Pro Tip: Don't assume the shop staff will overlook that small stain or the tiny tear. They won't. 

5. Do the math.

You won't have any control over how much a particular shop will charge for your items, but you should be clear about what percentage you'll receive. For most shops in my area, I receive 40% of the sale price, but if I use my credit in the store, I'll receive 50% of the sale price. An incentive that usually works to get me to spend my money there. If I'm not using my money in the store, I can choose to receive it as a check sent to me at the end of the month or as cash whenever I'm there, depending on the store.

I also like to keep track of which items I have at which consignment stores - they'll usually give you a receipt. Most shops will donate your clothes after 3 months if they don't sell. If I have a record of what I have there, I can pick up any clothes that don't sell if I decide I want to keep them. It hasn't happened yet, but it could.

Pro Tip: Find out if the store will be running a sale soon and make sure your clothing won't immediately go on sale, reducing the amount of money you'll make. 

And one final note: Don't forget about accessories! Most clothing consignment shops also take bags, shoes, belts, and jewelry. Don't leave those languishing in your closet if you could be making a little dough and making someone else's day!

* * * 

Do you shop in consignment stores? Consign your clothes? What tips do you have for the consigning newbie?


p.s. Upcycling is also a good option for those items that might not have value in a consignment shop but could be awesome for you with a little embellishment. 


Become a Better Person: Weekend Reading List



T.G.I.F. Oof. I needed this one to end.

Here's your quick and dirty weekend reading list from around the web, guaranteed to make you a better human being.* Also, grab some tissues.

Become...

A cleaner person: I'm praying this could work for me because we all know cleaning's not at the top of my priority list.

A more informed person: You probably didn't know there was such a thing as an abortion doula.

A more compassionate person (with yourself): The drive to be endlessly, always, unrelentingly productive may lead to productivity, but it may take you down a difficult path on the way. Honor your asterisks. 

A more accepting person: Draw inspiration from this child and her parents as they bravely and lovingly navigate the transgendered world (aka, same world but as a transgendered person). 

A smarter person: Fake smart is the same as real smart. At least from the outside, right?

A more secure person (in your relationship)Everyone has sh*t in their relationship. You are not alone. 



*As I've said before, simply reading these articles probably won't make you a better person. But they're interesting, and anyway, I recommend seriously considering whether you're perfect already - just the way you are.



p.s. Remembering this experience, which helped me to be more compassionate with myself and with the world. 




These Days: February



waking up early and writing in my pajamas almost every morning
watching Downton Abbey (will everyone just leave Mr. and Mrs. Bates alone?!)
listening to Amy Poehler read Yes Please
falling in love with Amy Poehler as she reads Yes Please
looking forward to a micro vacation (one night) in Montreal
relishing all the color changes as I knit my leftover yarn striped throw
following @emrgencykittens on Twitter, thanks to my wife
reading Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lammott
planning my meals, sort of
wishing there were just a few more hours in every day
trying to enjoy the outdoors at least a little even though it's absolutely freezing
eating clementines like it's my job
feeling immense (immense!) gratitude for Navah's ability to make me laugh


p.s. Montreal will be great, but boy, do I wish we were heading back to Hawaii...

Easiest Burlap Floor Pillow



During a trip to Costa Rica about five years ago, my wife and I visited a coffee farm, which was fascinating and delicious. While there, I bought a burlap coffee bag so that I could make a burlap floor pillow.

In my house growing up, we had two enormous floor pillows. I think my grandmother made them, or at least helped my mother make them, out of carpet remnants or something similarly thick and stiff. They were definitely the heaviest floor pillows anyone has ever owned. But I have the fondest memories of them - lounging on them, using them as the base for blanket forts, snuggling against them while I watched a movie. I've always been a floor person.

So I've carried this burlap coffee bag with me from apartment to apartment to house so that I could have my own floor pillow. Of course, I am a person who still hasn't finished the quilt I started 10 years ago, so I basically just forgot about the coffee bag while it languished in my fabric stash. In the meantime, we had acquired a large pillow because of a torn sofa cushion and a mix up with Ikea. We've carried it from apartment to apartment to house. I even picked out some fabric samples to cover it almost 3 years ago.

When I was cleaning out my studio a few weeks ago, I organized my fabric stash and Hey! There's that burlap coffee bag! 

So I pulled it out and tugged it onto the pillow, absolutely delighted that it fit perfectly, meaning that creating my burlap floor pillow was going to be the easiest project ever.



Steps:

1. Iron the burlap bag. Relying on a little advice from the internet, I ironed the burlap by pouring water directly onto the bag, rubbing it in, and then ironing that area. The steamer on my iron is broken, but I'm not sure that would have gotten it wet enough anyway. [I don't have a picture of this step, but you can see the wet spots on the burlap in that first picture.]

2. Shove the pillow into the burlap bag.

3. Fold the bottom (or actually, the top) of the bag around the pillow and pin in place. This took a little bit of maneuvering to get it all situated the way I wanted.

4. Using needle and thread, stitch the opening closed where you pinned it.

That's it! All together, it took me less than an hour. It's not the most refined edge, but this is a burlap floor pillow we're talking about. I'm not sure refined is the way to go.

I love that the pillow now goes with our room - it looks like it belongs there instead of just being a random off-white pillow we threw on the floor.


Jammer's not convinced, but he's a skeptical guy.


p.s. This reminded me of collecting hundreds of pillowcases for the pediatrics ward in Rwinkwavu, Rwanda. What an amazing experience that was. 

Deciding Whether to Join a CSA



It's that time of year again. An email just popped up in my inbox from the farm where we've been members of summer CSA telling me that it's time to register for another several months of fresh, local fruits and veggies. Since it's -7 degrees while I write this, it's hard to imagine the day when I'll be tromping around a farm field in shorts and a t-shirt. But assuming that the weather pattern doesn't fall apart completely, I suppose that's exactly what I'll be doing on Thursday evenings in June, July, August, and September (though I'll probably add some layers by the end).

We've been members of several different CSAs, but how do you know if joining a CSA is right for you?

First off, what is a CSA?

CSA = Community Supported Agriculture. A CSA is essentially a symbiotic relationship between a farm and the members of its community. The farm gets a stable, predictable stream of income for its produce, and the members of the community get farm-fresh fruits and vegetables every week, usually at a somewhat discounted price. A CSA can work in any number of different ways, but generally each member pays a membership fee (sometimes monthly, sometimes in a chunk) and then picks up a bag of "groceries" once a week at a designated location - either somewhere convenient in the community or at the farm.

Sounds pretty good. But before you pull out your checkbook, asking yourself a few questions might help ensure that you're making a good investment and won't end up with a refrigerator full of rotten produce that you don't know what to do with.

So here are four questions that can help you decide whether joining a CSA is right for you:

1. Are you at home during the summer?

Being a member of a CSA means coming home with vegetables and fruits (and sometimes maybe even bread, eggs, etc) every week for a significant chunk of time. Our summer CSA is 17 weeks long. If you're out of town half the summer, your CSA will go to waste. If you travel a lot but are dead set on joining a CSA, you may be able to find another person or family who would be willing to split with you and take the weeks when you're away. There's a lot of sharing with CSAs, which brings me to question #2.

2. How big is your vegetable tooth?

Get it? Vegetable tooth? Anyway... Most CSAs have options for the size of the farm share you take home with you. For instance, ours has full shares and half shares, and they'll make recommendations about how many people a share will feed (half for 2 people; full for 4 people). But even a share that fits the size of your family can sometimes be overwhelming, and what about if you're a household of one? No matter the number of people you're feeding, if you don't like a fairly wide variety of vegetables, you might end up with a lot more than you can or want to eat. Sharing can be a great option here. Some people share with another individual or family and just split the week's offerings in half. This can require some negotiating - for instance, if the share includes a watermelon one week, you'll have to decide whether you cut it in half or one person walks away with the whole thing (lucky dog). You may also need to coordinate schedules so that you can split up the produce, conveniently bringing us to question #3.

3. How flexible is your schedule? 

Because a CSA is providing many people fresh produce direct from the farm (aka, no grocery store middle man), the farmers have to find a way to get all that produce to those people. Some larger farms deliver CSA shares to multiple drop-off locations with particular sign-up days for members. Our winter share this year dropped off in our town on Tuesday nights in the community room of a local church. I showed up between 3:00 and 6:00, crossed my name off a list, and picked up a bag with an assortment of veggies. And that farm - Pete's Greens - delivers to drop-off locations like ours in many surrounding towns.

Others, like Intervale Community Farm where we are summer CSA members, provide produce only by offering pick-up from the farm. During the summer, I go to the farm every Thursday evening and pick my produce from bins based on weight. When I arrive, message boards tell me what the options are for the week and how much I can get of each thing (2 lbs of root vegetables, any assortment; 4 zucchini and 2 peppers; etc). The benefit of picking up directly from the farm is that I get to choose exactly what I want from the bins as well as an assortment of pick-your-own fruits, vegetables, and flowers. I'll say right now that I'd sign up for our CSA just for the flowers. Well, that and the watermelon.

If your schedule allows you to be at a farm or at a drop-off location at a designated pick-up time once a week, then a CSA might be a great fit. But if you have a work schedule with long or unpredictable hours, making it to the weekly pick-up might be challenging. One helpful piece of information is that many farms can be flexible on their end about pick-up. At Intervale Community Farm, there are two pick-up days: Monday and Thursday. While all the members sign up for a particular day, if you need to change your day during any particular week, you can do that without a lot of difficulty. Finding out whether the farm you're interested in provides similar flexibility might help you decide whether you can manage a CSA.

4. Do you enjoy (and have time for) cooking?

This might be the most important of the four questions. Depending on the size of your CSA, you could come home each week with anywhere from 2 to 10 pounds of veggies (and perhaps eggs, bread, etc if your CSA offers those items). If you normally eat out at restaurants more than at home, you might find yourself trying to cram a new bag of vegetables into an already overcrowded refrigerator week after week. The same goes if your dinner is usually a bowl of cereal eaten while standing at the counter. A CSA share is a commitment to cooking or preparing a lot of vegetables during the week. Some are easy - you can simply cut and eat carrots and tomatoes. And some will store well for a while - hard squashes, for instance. But when you walk into your kitchen with a bag that includes 3 tomatoes, 4 zucchini, 4 cucumbers, a pound of green beans, a bunch of kale, a head of cabbage, one pound of carrots, one pound of onions, 2 green peppers, a bag of salad greens, and a watermelon, and you know that you'll come home with just as many veggies next week, then you're going to have to spend at least some time cooking or preparing vegetables. The good news is that a lot of the produce available in a summer CSA works perfectly in big salads or alongside something fresh off the grill.

If you've answered those four questions and you think joining a CSA would be a good fit for you, congratulations. I absolutely love being a member of ours. I look forward to Thursday afternoons down at the farm all week. I enjoy heading out into the fields to pick green beans or herbs or flowers (which are never picked by the farmers but are available to members), and my food preferences fall squarely in the summer fruits and veggies camp (+ cheese). I also generally like spending time in the kitchen coming up with delicious meals. So a CSA is great for us.

Of course, if you decide that you would like to join a CSA, there's the question of which one.

Local Harvest provides an on-line CSA directory where you can find farms near you that provide farm shares. As you decide which CSA to join, here are a few things to think about:

  • Location - how local is the farm? Convenience is helpful, but you also might be interested in supporting a farm that is part of your local community. 
  • Size - how big are the shares? If you're getting a share for just yourself, a farm that only offers full shares for a family of four might not be a good fit. 
  • Member services - what perks does your membership offer? These might be advance emails with the produce that week (so you can meal plan) or things like pick-your-own options at the farm. 
  • Reliability - how has the farm done in the past? A CSA membership involves some level of risk sharing. As a member, you agree to take what they produce. If they have a bad year or their tomato crop fails, that could be disappointing (though it's rare). 
  • Cost - how much will you be paying? Farm shares can range in price from a few hundred for a summer of veggies to more than $800 or $900 for a bit more bounty (fruits and vegetables + bread, eggs, meat, etc). 
  • Access - will you get to meet the farmer? Some people don't care about shaking hands with the person who grew their food, but for many, that's partly the appeal of a farm share. Some farms will provide local drop-off but are too far away for you to visit or don't provide on-farm pick-up. 
As an annual CSA member, I think it's a great way to get connected to your community and enjoy incredible fresh food. But it's a financial and time commitment, so making an informed decision is important. If you're a member of a CSA and have other suggestions for how to decide whether a CSA is right for you or which CSA is a good fit, please share those in the comments. 



p.s. One of my favorite ways to deal with veggie overload during the summer is to throw everything into a pot for a chunky vegetable spaghetti

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Chocolate Raspberry Chia Parfait




What is it about layered desserts that sets my mouth watering? I've always loved the process of dipping down into a parfait to get a little bit of each delicious element on a single spoonful. There's a bit of a challenge built into every layered dish - can you eat this is just the right ratio that every bite has a little bit of every thing until the very end?

Just me?

This chocolate raspberry chia parfait was the most delectable challenge.



If you're not familiar with chia seeds, they look like...well, like teeny tiny little seeds. But when they mix with liquid, they puff up and become a little gelatinous - a bit like a smaller version of tapioca. And I love tapioca. They're also crazy good for you with all their fiber and calcium.

So when you eat this parfait, you can pat yourself on the back for making excellent, healthy food choices.

Chocolate Raspberry Chia Parfait

Chocolate Chia Pudding Layer:
2 cups almond milk
3 tablespoons chia seeds
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Quickly blend all ingredients together in your blender and then pour into a bowl with a lid. (If you don't have a blender, you can stir them all together - the cocoa powder will be a little difficult to incorporate.)
2. Place in the refrigerator overnight or for at least 2 hours.
3. For the raspberry chia jam layer and the whipped coconut cream, follow this recipe (just the jam) and this recipe from Oh She Glows.
4. Once the chocolate pudding layer is set, place a few tablespoons of the pudding into a pretty glass, then a couple tablespoons of the raspberry chia jam, then a few more tablespoons of the pudding, and then top with a dollop of whipped coconut cream and a raspberry.
5. Serve and enjoy!

p.s. Want more chocolate? I've been thinking about these almond butter and jam chocolates a lot lately...


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Become a Better Person: Weekend Reading List



It's back! Your quick and dirty weekend reading list from around the web, guaranteed to make you a better human being.*

Become...

A more accepting person: Accept your own body. Accept other people's bodies. Move because it feels good.


*As I've said before, simply reading these articles probably won't make you a better person. But they're interesting, and anyway, I recommend seriously considering whether you're perfect already - just the way you are.

p.s. This weekend seems like the perfect time for making your own chocolate syrup, doesn't it?

DIY Word Art



My gorgeous studio has one giant wall, and I'll admit to being overwhelmed by it when it came to figure out what to hang there. I thought about doing a gallery wall again, but it seemed like it would be too much in the space. I intentionally chose a lot of color for my studio, but I also need there to be some breathing room in there. And when I pictured a thousand frames on the wall, I felt claustrophobic.

Instead I wanted one large, simple piece that inspired me. And since I had already spent a bundle on paint, I decided I'd make it myself (after getting an inexpensive 50% off canvas at A.C. Moore).

Here's how I did it:

Supplies:
Metallic craft paint
Painers tape
Pencil with unused eraser
Something to pour paint onto (can be as simple as a paper plate)
Pencil to write with
Sharpie
Ruler
Canvas

1. Pick a bowl that has a rim the width of the circle that you'd like to use on your canvas. Using painters tape and a flat surface (like a floor or counter), tape out a large enough square that you can draw the outline of the bowl on the square.



2. Draw the outline and cut out the circle.




3. Using a tape measure diagonally across the canvas, mark the center with a pencil. (Sorry I didn't get a picture of this!)

4. Place your circle of tape onto the canvas so that the center is directly in the middle. This took a little maneuvering for me. I measured until my center dot was directly in the center of the circle.



5. Dip the unused eraser of a pencil into your metallic paint and press it onto the canvas to make a dot outside the circle marked by your painters tape.



6. Continue to make dots across the canvas in the pattern that you'd like. I made dots somewhat randomly across the whole canvas (minus the circle) and then went back in closer to the circle and added more, gradually decreasing as I got closer to the edges of the canvas. I also went in with a second color (gold glitter) to add more dots.



7. Place a piece of tape straight across the center of your circle. Use a level if necessary to make sure that it's straight. Then, using a pencil, write out whatever word you want to put inside the circle. Paint over your pencil lines with the metallic paint.



9. Wait for the paint to dry, pull off the painters tape, and hang your artwork.


I'm hoping that the single word there reminds me that my purpose in this studio is simply to create. It's not to create beauty or create magic or create perfection or create anything in particular at all. It's just to create - whatever that means at any given moment. 


p.s. I like words on canvas - I made this piece a couple years ago, and it's hanging in my bedroom now.

When Life is Hard



It's one of those times.

When I walked my dog yesterday morning, it was -16 degrees. And back home, our furnace is broken. It's leaking for the second time in six months, the temporary fix having given way and forced us onto the internet to look blindly at every review for an oil boiler we could find before taking that big financial plunge and buying a new one. To reduce the leaking, we're avoiding using hot water except when absolutely necessary and relying entirely on our pellet stove to heat the house.

The pellet stove can turn the downstairs into a summer oasis, but the upstairs (where the bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen are) can't get above a balmy 59 degrees. It's not too bad with a hat and scarf on, but putting that first toe onto the floor in the mornings is rough. And then, recently it's been doing weird things that make us concerned that it might shut itself down (causing the temperature in the house to drop and possibly our pipes to freeze) or catch on fire while we're not home.

And in addition to our heating issues and some other personal things, one of our garage doors is broken. And the door of our freezer is popping open almost imperceptibly each time we shut the refrigerator, something which we only discovered after it was slightly ajar all night, resulting in a major energy waste and a bunch of freezer-burned food. And the dog has had an upset stomach for reasons we can't identify. And my phone keeps shutting itself down every time I use it to take a photo. And I have a stye on my left eye.

Life feels so hard right now.

I'm overwhelmed by the number of things needing my attention and the financial outlay required of us. It seems that we're constantly rearranging our schedules to be home for a repair man or to take the dog to the vet. 

Right now the tiniest bother sends me over the edge.

This morning, when my closed toothpaste tube fell off the counter onto the bathroom floor, I yelled out, "OH COME ON" and huffed and stomped my foot, incensed that I had to reach down and pick it up.

It feels like crap, being this angry and overwhelmed, thinking the world has it out for you.

Before I lose it completely, I've been experimenting with a very gentle gratitude practice.

In the moment when I am most irate and overwhelmed about a particular thing - for instance, the broken boiler - I stop and ask myself one question: Is there anything in this situation that I can have gratitude for? Anything at all?

Usually, I can come up with something. At least one thing. In the case of the boiler, I came up with more than one.

I'm grateful that our boiler gave us a warning before dying completely so that we have time to buy a new one and weren't left without any heat or hot water.

I'm grateful that, though it wasn't in our budget, we have the money to buy a new boiler.


I'm grateful that we live in a place where someone will come out and install a contraption in our house that will heat the whole place with the push of a button.


I practice it with other things too - the garage door, for instance.

I'm grateful that we have a garage - what a luxury!

I'm grateful that someone will come out and repair the motor to our garage.


I'm grateful that we can afford to have someone come out and repair the motor for our garage.


And, most of the time, it works. I feel better, less cranky, less overwhelmed.

It doesn't always work, though. Sometimes I can't find anything to be grateful about. And that's okay. That's where I am in that moment. It's not because there isn't anything to be grateful about. It's because at that particular juncture, I can't get out from under the negative feelings to see the good.

I'm human. And expecting myself to be something other than human - some superhuman person who feels gratitude in every moment of my life - is a recipe for disaster.

So when I can find the gratitude, I brush off the welcome mat and bring it some tea. And in those moments, I'm grateful for gratitude.

Here's the other thing about this gentle gratitude practice - it's not a moral thing. Perhaps being grateful is the moral high ground. But focusing on morality isn't going to help you when you're down in the dregs of a life-is-hard mental meltdown. Being grateful because you should be grateful doesn't work in my experience. It just packs on another couple emotions - guilt and shame - to the anxiety, anger, overwhelm, depression that I'm already feeling. No, if you practice gratitude, practice it because it feels good. Be self-serving about it.

When you can stop long enough to recognize the overwhelm/life-is-hard spiral, be good to yourself and ask whether there's anything you can be grateful for.

If there's not, then set the question aside. Don't berate yourself. Just acknowledge that right now is just too hard and try again later. But if you can find something to be grateful for, sit with that gratitude. Honor it. Experience the moment of peace when your mind shifts away from anxiety.

It won't change the situation. Life will still be broken and expensive and wrong and not how you wanted it to be and maybe, sometimes, even devastating. But in that moment of gratitude, some little part of you may also know that life is miraculous and kind and beautiful.

One last note on practicing gratitude: it's a very personal thing. Because we're all human, experiencing our emotions in our own ways, and because a morality push rarely works on the gratitude front, it's rarely effective to tell another person to be grateful. One of my biggest pet peeves is the "at least" commentary in response to something I'm dealing with. I tell someone that my hair looks like crap that day, and they respond with "At least you have hair. You should be grateful for that." I say that my car is broken down, and they respond, "At least you have a car to get fixed. You should be grateful for that."

And it's not that I shouldn't be grateful. I should be - there are lots of people in worse-off situations. But like I said earlier, gratitude as a moral imperative rarely works for me. I just end up feeling ashamed and guilty (and annoyed with the "at least" person). Gratitude as a gentle reminder to release, if only for a moment, the negativity that is holding me hostage? That is helpful.

It's funny to me to be sharing a post about practicing gratitude. I can be the complainiest of the complainers, and I often feel like overwhelmed is my constant state of being. But that means I have a lot of opportunities to practice pulling myself out of the depths.

And when I'm able to, when I can get out from under it all to see the good, I am so grateful.


p.s. Practicing gratitude is constantly practice, at least for me.

Wonderbag: Potato Cheddar Soup



On Christmas morning as Navah and I tore wrapping paper off a big box, my sister rushed to tell us that we weren't going to understand what she had gotten us but that she'd explain it. When we got enough paper off that we could see what was in the box, Navah and I both burst out laughing. My sister looked confused until we explained that we absolutely knew what was in the box because we had come *this close* to getting it for her.

It was The Wonderbag.

Even though my sister and I obviously operate on similar wavelengths, I'm guessing you may not know what the Wonderbag is.

It's this fabulous combination of amazing and the simplest thing ever. It is a non-electric portable slow cooker. Once food has been brought up to a boil on the stove, the Wonderbag continues to cook the food without the use of electricity or fuel for up to 8 hours. It does this by insulating the food inside its pot with a specially-designed, foam-filled, fabric "bag."



The Wonderbag was created in South Africa in 2008 by a woman doing humanitarian aid work and trying to come up with a way to help families during long, repeated electricity outages. The Wonderbag was a perfect solution for reducing the effects of indoor pollution from wood fires and allowing women and children to spend less time collecting firewood and more time outside the home doing things like going to school. 

Okay, but why do I have a Wonderbag? I'm not dealing with numerous electricity outages or with indoor wood fires. I even have an electric slow cooker at home that I use quite frequently. 

Well, aside from the fact that I received my Wonderbag as a gift, here are three reasons that I'm really glad I have it: 

1. The Wonderbag is completely portable. Once I get my pot of food into the bag, I can take it anywhere. That means if I have a potluck after work, I can prep everything in the morning, put the food (inside the Wonderbag) in my car, and then it can cook during the day without my having to go home again to get my cooked dish. Or I can run errands while it cooks it the backseat. The portability provides me more flexibility.

2. The Wonderbag doesn't use electricity. It's a small thing, but as we work on reducing our energy usage and take all those little steps like turning off lights, the Wonderbag is a super sustainable way to make a big pot of something delicious for dinner. Also, while I've never been one to worry about leaving my crock pot on during the day while I'm away from home, I know a lot of other people who won't do it. And to be honest, their worrying kind of makes me worry. Not a problem with the Wonderbag.

3. Someone else got a Wonderbag too. For every Wonderbag purchased, the company donates one to a family in Africa. From Wonderbag's website: "Their lives were completely changed. Within three months, the children only needed to gather firewood once a week, and they were all in school. They had money for shoes. It was a catalyst out of poverty for them." (Sarah Collins, Founder) I get something awesome, and so does someone else? Sign me up.

So, what do I make in the Wonderbag? I can make tons of things, including most anything that I'd make in a traditional slow cooker (and benefit from the same lack of evaporation that I get with a crock pot as opposed to cooking on the stove). I simply have to change my method a little bit to incorporate bringing the food to a boil on the stove and letting it cook for 5-10 minutes before I put it into the Wonderbag. It's not quite as easy as throwing a bunch of stuff into the crock pot and walking away, but it's pretty close.

And just to put this out there: There is something about the Wonderbag that feels like a party trick. It's just straight up fun to loosen the drawstring 4 hours after you put a pot of boiling vegetables in there and remove the lid to find a piping hot soup. It feels like magic.



Potato Cheddar Soup in the Wonderbag
Adapted from All Recipes

1/4 cup butter or non-dairy butter substitute (I used earth balance)
1 onion, chopped (whatever kind you have)
1/4 cup flour (I used whole wheat)
2 cups vegetable broth
2 large carrots, diced
4 stalks celery, diced
4 cloves garlic, diced
about 4 pounds of potatoes, diced (I used a mix of red and purple potatoes)
1 cup milk or on-dairy milk substitute (I used unsweetened plain almond milk)
2 bay leaves
1 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
salt and pepper, to taste

1. Chop up the onion and cook in the butter or earth balance on medium-low heat until translucent in a pot that will fit in your Wonderbag. (Tip: Food cooks better in the Wonderbag if there is less headspace in the pot. Try to use a pot that is not too big for the amount of food you're making. I used a 5 quart pot for this.)
2. While the onions are cooking, chop up the rest of the vegetables. (Tip: Huge chunks cook more slowly. Cut the vegetables up a bit smaller than you would if you were cooking the soup on the stove.)
3. Once the onions are translucent, stir in the flour until it's completely incorporated into the onions and then add the vegetable broth, milk, bay leaf, garlic, salt and pepper, and vegetables. Turn the heat up to high and let the mixture come to a boil, stirring occasionally.
4. After the soup has boiled for 5-10 minutes, remove the pot from the stove and place it into the open Wonderbag. Cinch up the drawstring tightly and leave the pot for about 4 hours.
5. When you return, remove the bay leaves and stir in the shredded cheese.
6. Using an immersion blender, blend about half of the soup so that the soup is creamy but also has chunks of vegetables. If you don't have an immersion blender, transfer about half of the soup to blender in batches and then return to the pot.
7. Garnish with a little cheese and some herbs and enjoy!


p.s. I fell in love with Rwanda a few years ago and marveled then at how much work goes into getting basic necessities


I did not receive any compensation from Wonderbag for this post. I just love it!

My New Studio (!!!)



When we walked through this house for the first time a couple years ago, there were a ton of things I loved. Prime among them was the office in the basement. I immediately claimed it as my future studio, and the thought brought me heaps of joy. A space of my very own, where I could write and sew and think creative thoughts and, most importantly, leave unfinished projects lying around without making a mess in the rest of the house.* Squee!

Of course, many things got in the way of my making the studio my own - life, work, other rooms in the house - and it wasn't until I decided, rather impulsively, to paint the walls in January that the space really started to become a studio. Prior to that it held all of my creative things, but in such a state of disarray that it was virtually unusable.

I don't have a before photo (terrible, terrible blogger), but I have these two from when we toured the house before we moved in. So just use these as a base and then add in a bunch of boxes and random crap all over the floor.


I had originally planned to paint the space a neutral - white or a light gray - and then add color with lots of bright things on the walls. But I bought a gray that didn't really work out, and I guess I took it as a sign that I needed something a little bolder, brighter, more cheerful. Since I finished painting, I've spent 30 minutes here and an hour there getting things up on the walls and organizing a plethora of crafting, photography, and writing paraphernalia. I've enjoyed remembering things I'd forgotten I owned and finding a place for all of it (mostly in two not-pretty shelving units in the closet).

But more than anything, I am delighted to be using this room, to be actively engaging in creative pursuits on a regular basis. Obviously I don't need a special room designated entirely to my creativity, but it certainly does feel nice!

So if you need me, I'll be in my studio.

Details: 
Wall paint - cerulean skies and isis wept
Desk made from cubes and old door
Art on either side of sewing table by Sherry Cook
Embroidery above sewing table - ktmade
Quilt from my grandmother on chair
Fabric bunting - ktmade for our wedding chuppa
"Create" wall art - ktmade

*I still leave knitting projects all over the couch. Old habits die hard.



p.s. I was so excited when we moved into this house - for so many other reasons.

Become a Better Person: Weekend Reading List



A quick and dirty weekend reading list from around the web, guaranteed to make you a better human being.*


Become:

A Healthier Person: Eat delicious treats, but make them yourself with whole food ingredients.

A Smarter Person: Peruse these maps to get a better understanding of the history of immigration in the United States.

A More Empathetic Person: Consider the effect of the anti-vaccine movement on people with autism.

A Happier Person: Know that there is an elderly man in Australia knitting sweaters for penguins.

A More Productive Person: Take your lunch breaks!

A Kinder Person: Don't forget to show your friends you love them.



*I have no science to back up this claim. In truth, I suspect that becoming a better human being requires significant personal work away from your computer screen. Also, it's worth contemplating whether you're wonderful just the way you are.

p.s. Do you need this reminder to slow things down as much as I do?